Is your church or ministry going in circles?
Had the same debates or one too many heated debates at the board or council meeting?
Healthy conflict or disagreements is one thing but wasting time debating the same thing or unhealthy conflict that can get ugly is another.
It can show up at the voter’s meeting, staff meeting and even in the parking lot.
Over time, people become metaphorically bruised and beaten up. It can get wearying. Church shouldn’t be that way, should it? We might try to exercise confession and forgiveness but we sometimes get stuck in the same debates and struggles or it can get worse. Our instinctive response might be to fight harder, go to another church or disappear from formal religious observances all together.
Am I being to melodramatic? I don’t think so. These are tough realities that wear us down and weaken us over time. We don’t quite know what to do or how to address it.
The scriptures have some wisdom for us, as always:
“…make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” Philippians 2:2-4
“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” Romans 15:5-6.
“I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought” 1 Corinthians 1:10
“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace” 2 Corinthians 13:11
We could certainly go on. Yes, of course I am confident that you agree with such words of Scripture. Yet the nagging question is…how? How do we do that?
It doesn’t happen by accident or organically, especially if you have a track record of challenges and disagreements. On top of that we are sinful people with egos, pride and impatience plus this is one place where the evil one seeks to sow poison in the vineyard of God’s people.
So what can you do? Any healthy organization has some very clear agreements and expectations and the church is not any different. Remember your confirmation vows? That’s a good place to start. Then, remember the vows that are spoken in the membership rite at your church. The responses usually say something like, “yes with the help of God.” You can certainly review those publicly and periodically. In a worst case scenario there are ministries like Ambassadors of Reconciliation that can certainly help (aorhope.org).
Yet another helpful way is through a structured conversation that can be held at any time. Yet perhaps most appropriately this can happen prior to the installation and re-dedication of staff and volunteer leaders. A tool for this dialogue can help. One is called “Being Of One Mind.” This tool walks you through the process of thinking through where you need to go, what is important to you and how you are going to do it.
Done prayerfully, a structured conversation like this can bring people together and say out loud what is assumed. It can be a covenant and rallying place for mutual ministry. Such an effort will highlight what is important and replace the malaise of “doing what we did last year” kind of thinking. It can even be a prayerful process concluding a public affirmation at a congregational meeting.
If you are interested in such a tool. Reach out to me via email at scottgress@me.com before Thanksgiving 2024 and I will be happy to send you a copy at no charge. After that time, it will be available under our store tab. God bless you in such conversations for Christ’s sake!
Rev. Scott Gress is believes in Growing People for Ministry by focussing on leadership, discipleship and teamwork. Contact Scott if you are interested in him working with you or your church. A free 30 minutes sample session is available to explore how you might work best together. The Coaching Leader Podcast is also available on iTunes and his YouTube page. You can contact Scott through email scottgress@me.com or his blog page scottgress.com or at 561-542-4472
Growing People for Ministry" Leadership + Discipleship + Teamwork
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