We all face the reality at some point. Which is your reality? Church with few attending? Youth group with few or no participants? Parochial school enrollment barely meeting the break even point - or worse? The annual event didn’t happen? No one is volunteering?
Who’s to blame?
What have you heard as explanations for the situation?
- All churches are dying, people don’t go to church anymore.
- No one knows what the name “Lutheran” means. They don’t think it’s Christian.
- The seminary didn’t teach how to do _______ so our pastor doesn’t do _______ either.
- The staff person (pastor, secretary, DCE, music director, principal etc) doesn’t like to/ know how to/ do _________ and so we need to get rid of them and replace them.
- Our pastor/DCE/Music Director (etc) can't (or won't) ________ !
- No one likes denominational churches, (like ours) they’d much rather go to a non-denominational “big box church” (and by the way, all those churches do is entertain people!)
- The (parochial) school (non-church member) parents aren’t interested in God or the church.
- The regular church members don’t have time to help and don’t care.
- We don’t have the _________ (facilities, staff, budget, programming ) that would “attract” people to our church.
- Fill in your favorite reason, explanation or excuse in order to explain your problem here.
It is something of a sport, being a Monday morning quarterback as a church leader. There are lots of popular ways to explain away negative outcomes. Very often the explanation comes down to things that are outside of our control or we blame the person in charge.
But something doesn’t make sense when the Lutheran school you’ve had on your property for 55 years closes. Then right away some other religious school rents the very same classrooms and soon fills up with students and does very well.
Or the church closes their doors and another church comes in to buy or rent out the worship space and soon they have double, triple or more worshippers in the same space.
Or you look down the street or across town. The other Lutheran church or school is thriving - or at least not struggling like you are. What is the reason? We might dismiss it as something they are doing that is not “kosher” or some other thing that we might label as not right or “jumping the shark” just to draw attention. “We would never do that!”
Or worse, we might want to play the “me too” card: “We should do _______ (fill in the blank) just like the other Lutheran church/school does.” As if that centerpiece program or activity is the game changer for them that you can adopt for yourself and get the same results. It doesn’t work. Or worse still, we might even think we need to lose the Lutheran name as if a name will change everything. Fat chance.
Plenty of churches are being planted and growing. Plenty of “private” schools and religious schools are packed with waiting lists. So what’s really going on?
First let’s acknowledge that you have good people who are faithful Christians. We aren’t going to go there. But we will say, it really comes down to leadership.
It’s easy to blame another person. We criticize people for the gifts they don’t have as opposed to encouraging and enabling them to flourish using the gifts they do have. Whether you are a proponent of Gallup Strengthsfinders or The Table Group’s new Working Genius or some other assessment, people are wired to do certain things and others not so much. So think of that pastor who is deeply caring shepherd whose wheelhouse is being warm and sensitive to hurting people in the hospital and nursing homes. He shouldn’t be criticized for not being the cheerleader and charismatic preacher. Or that charismatic youth leader who gathers a crowd shouldn’t be strung up by their thumbs because they are weak at planning ahead.
The lesson? Recruit to someone’s weaknesses. Whether they are a staff member or a volunteer, delegate their weaknesses and celebrate their strengths. Instead of blaming them, be open about the gaps without criticism and work together at a solution which is usually helping them to accept help. It is the extreme case where someone needs to be removed. More often it is a recognition of how they are wired and shifting things around so they spend more time on what they were gifted for by God.
It is easy to call anyone but harder to call or hire the right one. If you are a congregation that is struggling or even between pastors, your answer isn’t that you just need a pastor (with a pulse) but the right kind of pastor. For a dying congregation you will want someone who is eager to revitalize a congregation or even re-plant a church. Then the existing congregation will need to be on board with knowing they are going to be less of a shepherd and more of a chaplain who is a missionary or even someone who delegates many of the more traditional pastoral visitation. The point is that depending on where your church or parochial school is in its life cycle, you will want a different kind of pastor or principal.
The lesson? Take the time to think through not what you want (which may be self serving) but strategically what kind of leader you need. Then pray and search diligently for that kind of person. A miss matched person with the task is inviting criticism, discouragement and disappointment and even hurt feelings and those things that do not extend the mission of God.
It is also easy to cast blame “out there.” Whether you name “society” or “non-believers” or “the unfaithful” or some other nebulous group or category. Just stop. You can’t control them. You can only control you.
The lesson? Instead of “scapegoating” and blaming something or someone “out there” take a hard look at yourself. Are you modeling what you want other people to be and do? Whether you are a lay leader, a pastor or a church member, are you doing what you can do that is under your control? Are you planning ahead, engaging those you do not know, developing others (sharing the power and the credit)? Are you asking those on your team how you can improve next time? Are you admitting your mistakes and shortcomings and asking not only for forgiveness but for help where you typically struggle or get frustrated?
So who is to blame? Well, what did our parents teach us? When you point (the blame) at someone else, you have three other fingers pointing at you. That’s a tough task. So get an outsider to help you gain perspective and awareness and insight. That might mean a coach or consultant. It will require courage. That means risking feeling guilty and admitting you don’t have all the answers. But it is not shameful to admit you are struggling (often in our area of weakness) and seek help. But it is shameful however to let things fail and blame others.
We live in grace. We are in this together. May God bless your courage and willingness to face the challenge of leadership, for Jesus’ sake.
Rev. Scott Gress is believes in Growing People for Ministry by focussing on leadership, discipleship and teamwork. Contact Scott if you are interested in him working with you or your church. A free 30 minutes sample session is available to explore how you might work best together. The Coaching Leader Podcast is also available on iTunes and his YouTube page. You can contact Scott through email scottgress@me.com or his blog page scottgress.com or at 561-542-4472
